Delia Latham: Dancing Dialogue, Part IV - The Final Dance

When push comes to shove, dialogue in fiction is just an author with the gift of gab. Right?

Wrong.

Dialogue can be the heart and soul of your novel; the make-it-or-break-it element in your fiction; the very life or death of your writing.

Or, in the lingo of this series on dialogue, the dance that makes the party unforgettable.

The past three weeks, we discussed the mechanics of dialogue: do’s and don’ts, how-to, and even a few examples. This week we’ll dance to a different melody. How about “It Had to be You”?

Why that particular song? Because whether your fictional dialogue is ultimately a success or a colossal failure depends entirely on YOU.

• YOU put the words in your characters’ mouths.

• YOU decide on the speech patterns, colloquialisms, etc., that those characters  portray.

• YOU insert the action beats or dialogue tags.

• YOU create each voice in every conversation. Those verbal exchanges between your characters can be riveting or hopelessly dull. It’s up to YOU.

• YOU are the band. YOUR words, and in particular,   YOUR dialogue is the music. 

Here’s how you’ll make sure YOUR readers dance ‘til the song is over.

Create irresistible dialogue.

Don’t stop re-working a conversation until it captivates. If a reader is an eavesdropper listening in on a chat between your characters, she should be powerless to walk away mid-conversation.

Polish the gems. Ever thought about how a gem is brought to perfection? Someone takes a rough stone and taps at it until it’s perfect. I love the following from Brian Klems (Writer’s Digest):

We’ve all had those moments when we wake up and have the perfect response for a conversation that took place the night before. Wouldn’t we all like to have those bon mots at a moment’s notice?

Your characters can. That’s part of the fun of being a fiction writer.

Klems uses an example from “The Godfather.” A simple dialogue comparison, but the impact from the change is ginormous. This is the kind of tapping at a diamond-in-the-rough that produces a perfect gem! 

Moe Greene is angry that a young Michael Corleone is telling him what to do. He might have said, “I made my bones when you were in high school!” Instead, screenwriter Mario Puzo penned, “I made my bones when you were going out with cheerleaders!” (In his novel, Puzo wrote something a little racier). The point is you can take almost any line and find a more sparkling alternative.

As a writer, you have the liberty of letting your dialogue stew…then returning later to add the spice (that perfect come-back). Why on earth wouldn’t you do that?

      Keep it pertinent.

Omit chit-chat that has no reason to be there and has nothing to do with the storyline.

                    Leave out the fillers and fluff.

Keep greetings and good-byes brief, if you must use them at all.

Niceties, like “so nice to see you, "thank you” and “how are you” become stale long before the expiration date. Doesn’t mean you should never use them, but think long and hard before you do.

Make it sparkle.

The best movies usually have at least one line of dialogue that becomes synonymous with that title. Why? 

Because they're brilliant. They shine. They sparkle. They’re the perfect words at the perfect time.

  Let’s look at a few of them:

     "Easy, Miss, I've got you."

             "You've got me? Who's got you?"

     (Superman, the Movie, 1978)

“Snakes. Why’d it have to be snakes?” (Raiders of the Lost Ark, 1981)

Somehow, “Oh, man, I hate snakes” doesn’t have quite the same ring, does it?

"Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die!" (The Princess Bride, 1987)

My oldest son shouted this phrase - awake and in his sleep - at least a hundred times as a child. Children only to that when they hear something that packs a considerable wallop.

"Face it, girls, I'm older and I have more insurance." (Fried Green Tomatoes, 1991)

Oh, come on…you know you lo ved this scene. And if Kathy Bates had simply said, “Take that, teeny- boppers,” who’d have remembered it?

"Well, what if there is no tomorrow? There wasn't one today." (Groundhog Day, 1993)

Not one of my favorite favorite movies but I love this line. Love it!

“I see dead people.” (The Sixth Sense, 1999)

Priceless. Simple. Impactful. Blood-chillingly priceless!

"My precious."(Lord of the Rings, The Two Towers, 2002)


“We don’t negotiate with terrorists.”(Land of the Dead, 2005)

Easy to see why these lines stand out in our memories. They’re short on words and long on punch. Every novel should be sprinkled with that same kind of fizz and pop.

By now, your mind should be full of possibilities. Your toes should be tapping to the melody of the conversations taking place in your mind.

That’s good, my writer friends. Now…write. Devise dialogue that dances right into the heart and mind of your reader. How many gems can you polish to perfection?

Take the challenge: Put a little Macarena in your mystery; write a reggae romance; salsa-tize your suspense; have fun with a fandango fantasy…. 

You get the picture. Get out there and rock your writing with dancing dialogue!

DELIA LATHAM is a born-and-bred California gal, raised in a place called Weedpatch and currently living in the lovely mountain town of Tehachapi with her husband and a spoiled Pomeranian. She enjoys multiple roles as Christian wife, mother, grandmother, sister and friend, but especially loves being a princess daughter to the King of Kings. She has a "thing" for Dr. Pepper, and loves to hear from her readers. Contact her through her website or send an e-mail to delia@delialatham.net. Find her also at the following online locations:

Living the Write Life (blog)

Facebook

Twitter

Amazon Author Page





Tweetables:

Rock your writing with dancing dialogue. @DeliaLatham #WriteRight! http://tinyurl.com/mfbvrua

"And what is the use of a book, without...conversations?" Dialogue in Fiction with @DeliaLatham http://tinyurl.com/mfbvrua

Delia Latham: Dancing Dialogue, Part III

Part 3 - Dance Like No One's Watching

Silence:

Silence is a powerful tool in dialogue. It can whisper comfort and peace, shout anger and discord, or state a fact more clearly than any words ever could. In the words of an old Keith Whitley song: “You say it best when you say nothing at all.”

Of course, not everything can be said with silence. But some things are communicated with incredible impact by having a character say nothing.

Example:

Noah reached across the table and took her hand.

“Karen, I—” He cleared his throat and squeezed the hand he held. “I’ve fallen in love with you.”

Her eyes widened. For the barest flash of a second, Keith remembered the deer he’d missed by about six inches on the road last night.

Then her hand slid from his, and she stared out the window, apparently enthralled by the darkness that covered the bay.

Uh-oh. Something’s not right, right? Either Karen doesn’t return Keith’s affection, or something is preventing her from saying so.

Employ this tool with care. It can be a valuable part of your writer’s arsenal. But, as with any writing technique, overuse lessens the effect, and can become downright annoying.

Information dumping:

If you’ve been writing for more than two days, you know dumping information on your reader is a no-no. 

Unfortunately, many writers seem to think if information is provided within a conversation, that makes it fine and dandy. Think again.

Yes, dialogue is a great way to let readers know things they need to know about a character’s history, psychological condition, etc., without pages of back story. But even packaged in dialogue and tied in neat little quotation marks, no one wants an entire life’s history shoved down their throat in a single conversation. Spread it out. Drop nuggets of information, and do it in such a way that the reader hardly realizes she’s been fed a slice of back story pie.

Example:

Still holding hands, they approached the antique store. With a chuckle, Tina used her free hand to point at the window, where an old Silver Streak bicycle held prominent place in the eclectic display.

“Look at that old bike, Ross.” She shook her head. “At one time, some kid probably thought he’d been handed the keys to the kingdom when he got that thing on Christmas morning. Can you even imagine?”

Ross stared at the red bike. He didn’t have to imagine. But it hadn’t been Christmas. His old man had put in a lot of work to make it look sharp—it was far from new, even on Ross’s twelfth birthday. But he hadn’t cared. That Silver Streak bicycle was his pride and joy—and ultimately, the thing that destroyed his life forever.

“Ross!” Karen tugged at her hand, finally freeing it from his unwitting clutch-hold. Her shocked gaze captured his. “What’s wrong with you? You were hurting me!”

The reader is given a glimpse into Ross’s past, but not a whole shovelful of it—just a bare glimpse. The reader doesn’t feel as if she’s been taken on a long, boring stroll through history, but her interest is now definitely piqued. Ross’s past holds the promise of some interesting reading further in the book, and you can bet she’s going to keep reading until she unearths that mystery.

Keep it casual:

Most of us do not use a lot formality in our everyday conversation—unless the situation calls for formality: a speech, a job interview, etc. Outside those situations, we don’t speak in a stiff, stilted manner. Neither should our characters, unless that happens to be a (rather unusual) characteristic of that person’s speech.

For instance, when inviting a guest to make herself at home, which of the following more closely represents realistic conversation?

"I desire to ensure you are absolutely comfortable during the time you are staying in my home."

"Please make yourself at home. I want you to be comfortable here."

Clearly, the second choice is closer to what most of us would actually say…and that’s how our character’s should speak, as well.

Use contractions. Most conversations are riddled with them, and we don’t even notice. But we do notice when someone doesn’t use them, because their speech sounds stilted. (For instance, a foreigner might speak English very precisely, and omit contractions. If you have a character to whom English is a second language, then by all means, kill the contractions. That speech pattern will become an easy identifier for that character any time he/she speaks.)

Try reading your dialogue out loud. Actually hearing dialogue can shine a light on anything corny or unrealistic that managed to find its way in there. Better yet, enlist the aid of an honest friend to read the dialogue with you—like a script. You take a role, your friend takes another. You’ll be

surprised how many speech snafus the two of you will uncover, and the result will be a better, more believable conversation for your readers’ enjoyment.

Read. And read some more.

As writers, we are often told to read. We learn by reading. If we don’t read, we can’t write. In the words of Stephen King, “You cannot hope to sweep someone away by the force of your writing until it has been done to you.”

Read with a deliberate mind toward dialogue. What works in the books you most enjoy? What made conversations sparkle and dance? What didn’t work…annoyed you, made you close the book and not open it again? Learn from those things—the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Everything you learn is another step you can apply to your own dancing dialogue…another step away from Wallflower-dom and into the action on the floor.

Dance like no one’s watching…but, as a writer, dance so that everyone will!

Next week: The final dance.

Tweetables:

Dialogue: Make it dance like no one’s watching, and everyone will. @DeliaLatham http://tinyurl.com/pt2z5kv

Dancing Dialogue, Part III, on Write Right! @DeliaLatham http://tinyurl.com/pt2z5kv

DELIA LATHAM is a born-and-bred California gal, raised in a place called Weedpatch and currently living in the lovely mountain town of Tehachapi with her husband and a spoiled Pomeranian. She enjoys multiple roles as Christian wife, mother, grandmother, sister and friend, but especially loves being a princess daughter to the King of Kings. She has a "thing" for Dr. Pepper, and loves to hear from her readers. Contact her through her website or send an e-mail to delia@delialatham.net. Find her also at the following online locations:

Living the Write Life (blog)
Facebook
Twitter
Amazon Author Page

Delia Latham: Dancing Dialogue, Part II

Delia Latham

Last week we talked about the purpose dialogue fills in fiction writing, and why it needs to be lively and interesting to keep readers reading.

Following are a few do’s and don’ts that’ll keep the dance in perfect rhythm:

Do give your characters their own voices. Sit and listen to folks talk. Writers are, by necessity of their calling, eavesdroppers. So listen in. Notice the different types of voices and speech patterns. Some people speak in a slow drawl. Others chatter loud and fast. Ask three people the same question, and you’re likely to receive three different answers—or the same answer, given in a manner appropriate to each speaker.

      Question: “How do I get to Main Street from here?”

      
      Possible answers:

a.      “Keep goin’ south, then a right on Turner Way’ll get’cha there.”

b.      “Whoa, dude, do I look like a city map?”

c.       “Walk…or take a taxi, I guess.”

Notice how each of these answers calls to mind some idea of the type of person who provided it. Do you hear the good ol’ boy in answer “a”? See the long hair and tie-dyed shirt, or possibly a modern punk look, in answer “b”? What about “c”? A grumpy old guy who dislikes people? A smart-alecky teen? A particular character’s consistent use the same speech patterns, rhythms, or styles will give the reader insight into that character’s personality, and help identify her any time she speaks.

Do skip the small talk. Fluff. Filler conversation. Unnecessary dialogue. It’s like an extra beat in the melody that doesn’t fit and throws the dancers off. Bands that throw that kind of unnecessary riff into their music don’t last long in a dance venue. Writers don’t either. Every word of dialogue should have a reason for being there in fiction—otherwise, leave it unsaid. In the words of Elmore Leonard, "Leave out the part that readers tend to skip." 

Do change partners now and then. Alternate dialogue with action and description. Unbroken dialogue, like unbroken action or description, becomes annoying might fast. Break it up.

Do place your characters in a specific time and place while they talk. No one has an entire conversation without doing something. Twiddling his thumbs or tapping his toes. Tucking her hair behind her ear, chewing on the tip of a fingernail. Because I have some discomfort in my feet, I find myself curling my toes or stretching my foot muscles. I’m sure you have habitual gestures and “tics,” as well. Your characters should too.

Ever wondered what the term “talking heads” is all about? You got it, baby – this is it. Talking heads are characters who do nothing but spout dialogue, and apparently exist in some unidentifiable vacuum, since the author can’t be bothered to mention their location, or toss in a few surrounding details.

Are your characters in someone’s living room? Sitting on a couch? What kind of art is on the walls? Maybe your hero’s gaze keeps wandering to a subject in an old portrait, or he wonders about the meaning behind a piece of modern sculpture. Are they talking over the noise of a child’s cartoon? Can they hear the clang or tinkle of wind chimes from the front porch? What smells filter through the air…a lasagna in the oven? Does the pungent aroma of bacon still linger from breakfast?

Maybe they’re standing on the beach. What sounds are in the background? Loud, crashing waves or just the gentle susurration of the ocean’s movement? The persistent squawk of a seagull? The slap of hands on a volleyball, victory yells from one team or the other?

Dialogue - like a good two-step - should never happen alone. Surrounding elements add life to the scene, and give your characters a whole being—not just a talking head.

Do use action tags. Are you unclear on the difference between a dialogue tag and an action tag? Let’s clear up the confusion.

Dialogue tags state who said what, and how they said it: He said, she stated, Jane questioned, Tom mused…

Action tags also identify who’s speaking, but they do it through the use of action. This helps eliminate talking heads, because someone is doing something.

Example:

“Who all’s going to be here tonight?” Cathy added a spoon to the last place setting as she caught and held her mother’s gaze. “Please tell me you didn’t invite Marcus.”

Cathy is identified as the speaker, but the reader can also surmise that Cathy and her mother are preparing the table for guests, and that Marcus isn’t welcome—at least, Cathy doesn’t welcome him. Is Cathy’s mother trying to make a match between the two?

Don’t explain every last detail. You’re dealing with written dialogue, not real-life conversation. The reader shouldn’t have to suffer through all the pleasantries most people exchange before getting to the meat of a conversation. No one cares about generalities: “Hello, how are you? Hope you’re doing well. It’s been a long time.” Please. Be merciful to your readers. Get to the nitty-gritty and leave the rest to their imaginations.

Don’t pretend your characters are the only people in the world. If they’re in a restaurant, they’re likely to be interrupted by someone taking or delivering their orders. Their table might be jostled by a child running wild. “Background” music might be drowning out their conversation. Is the bartender caught up in an argument with an inebriated customer? Does the woman at the next table have a persistent and annoying cough, or maybe her loud laughter sounds like the braying of a donkey? Include surrounding details to validate your dialogue.

Don’t overuse names. In real-life conversation, we don’t call each other by name a lot. We shouldn’t do it in fiction either. Use names often enough that your reader can be certain who’s speaking—especially during lengthy conversations. Use them for emphasis…trying to catch another character’s attention, to drive home a point, to express intense reaction. Sometimes using a name can indicate sarcasm or a deliberate annoyance tactic. Use names for effect. Don’t use them in every other line.

Don’t be too proper. Most of us, even if we know the proper rules of grammar, don’t always use them. And even though we know it’s rude to interrupt, we do it. We cut each other off and speak over one another. Allow your characters to do the same—your dialogue will sound far more natural.

Be back next week for more on making your dialogue dance.

Question for discussion:  What do’s and don’ts do you adhere to when writing dialogue?

Tweetables:

Dancing Dialogue, step by step with @DeliaLatham. #fiction #writing #writingtips  http://ow.ly/wLM9g

Make your dialogue dance a lively two-step. http://ow.ly/wLM9g @DeliaLatham #writingtips #fiction

Delia Latham

(c) May 2014

DELIA LATHAM is a born-and-bred California gal, raised in a place called Weedpatch and currently living in the lovely mountain town of Tehachapi with her husband and a spoiled Pomeranian. She enjoys multiple roles as Christian wife, mother, grandmother, sister and friend, but especially loves being a princess daughter to the King of Kings. She has a "thing" for Dr. Pepper, and loves to hear from her readers. Contact her through her website or send an e-mail to delia@delialatham.net. Find her also at the following online locations:

Living the Write Life (blog)

Facebook

Twitter

Amazon Author Page