Delia Latham: Is Writing Taking Over Your Life?

Writing…take over your life? Believe me…it can if you let it.

Don’t.

Any career should be controlled by its owner, not the other way around. So let’s talk about ways to keep writing within acceptable bounds, so you can still have a life in the real world.

Keep to a schedule. Only you know what “office hours” (writing time) you prefer to keep. Decide what they are, and adhere to them. Some people value free weekends, and that’s fine. Exclude weekends from your writing schedule, if you’re one of them. Some prefer to write in the evenings—I do. Being a night owl has its benefits. Run your “office” at night, if that’s what works for you.

The important thing is, whatever hours you set, stick to them. As with any job, there will be the occasional “overtime” hours, or unpredictable last-minute deadlines or unexpected kinks in the plan. Don’t be so rigid you can’t work with those things, just don’t allow them to happen too often. That’s how schedules become obliterated and writers find themselves at their desks every waking hour. And that’s the kind of schedule that inevitably saps all the joy out of writing.

Know when to say ‘no.’ We all love to help others when we can, and you’ll always find someone needing a hand. It’s important to reach out to those looking for insight, advice, mentoring…whatever. But it’s also important to know your limits. If all your time is given over to others, your own writing suffers—and so will your attitude. Help when you can. Give. You should. But know when it’s time to say ‘no.’ Say it kindly. But when you need to say 'no,' say it, and mean it.

Know your limitations. Some writers are quite comfortable working on half a dozen writing projects simultaneously. Others can handle only one or two at a time. Neither way is wrong. But if you’re most comfortable working on one project at a time, don’t take on two or three. You’ll find yourself less productive—not more, if you stretch yourself too far. 

Going outside our comfort zones now and then is not a bad thing…but common sense says when we do so, we shouldn’t go so far outside the zone that we can’t find our way back. If trying to write two novels at the same time steals all your free time as well as your sleep, stick to one at a time. 

What can you handle within the “office hours’ you’ve set? Take on that much and no more.

Don’t take your work “home” with you. Most of us write in our homes, so this one seems a little weird, but you get the picture. Once you’ve set your office hours, respect them. And when you walk away from your desk, try to leave your work-in-progress there—at your desk, in your office.

This one’s a bit touchy, because as writers, we’re constantly on the lookout for a great story idea. We’re writing even when we’re not writing. But your family deserves to have all of you during designated family time.

That’s why you’re reading this post, right? You want to find a way to keep writing from becoming your whole world. Writing is important to a writer, but God and family are more important. Keep your priorities firmly in place.

Things that “take over” in a physical garden are thought of as weeds. No matter how pretty they might be, when allowed to, they quickly overrun the good things - the things that are supposed to be growing there.

For instance, farmers hate morning glories. To them, they're weeds, because they tangle themselves into crops and choke out the thing that's supposed to be growing. Then the farmer has to invest extra money and manpower to eradicate them.

I, on the other hand, love morning glories. They're beautiful...when contained to a specific area and not allowed to over-populate a yard (or garden). I derive a lot of pleasure from watching them climb over my back yard fence. But hubby and I are aware of their propensity to take over...so we keep them to a very specific area. If we gave in to the natural inclination to let them grow wherever they pop up, because we so enjoy their simple beauty, before long they would take over.

And we, too, would begin to think of them as weeds. Wouldn't that be terribly sad...to lose the intense pleasure I find in the morning glories adding that electric burst of color to my yard, because I fail to keep them in their place?

If writing is important to you, create boundaries for it and keep well within them. Otherwise, one day you'll discover you no longer want to write...no longer take pleasure in creating fictional worlds...because it has taken over your real one.

Tweetables:

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Is writing taking over your life? Find out how to set the boundaries you need. http://tinyurl.com/pb4nb3t  @DeliaLatham

Delia Latham: More Than You Can Chew

(c) Can Stock Photo

Matthew 11:28-30—Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

We’ve all done it—literally and figuratively.

That chocolate cake looks so good, and you’re so hungry…so you bite off a chunk big enough for two people. And once it’s in your mouth, you discover there’s no room to chew around it. Getting all that chocolate goodness down without choking becomes a challenge, and you have to make a decision—spit it out and start over, or find a way to swallow it. And somewhere along the way, all the pleasure you’d expected in savoring that cake is gone.

We do that in our lives sometimes too. Call it what you want: too many irons in the fire, overstuffing the turkey, over-filling your schedule.

Biting off more than you can chew...never a pretty sight.

What usually happens when we clog our calendars with more than any two people could comfortably handle is that our stress level soars and our production drops. Drastically. Or we actually do accomplish most of the things on our crowded agendas…but we do so far less capably than we should. Or…we do it all. Perfectly. By giving up sleep, private time, relaxation and even prayer time.

Not good.

My advice? Don’t do it.

And that’s advice born of wisdom acquired the hard way…by falling on my face in all the accumulated stuff I’d overscheduled. I had to learn to say ‘no,’ and let me tell you, that little two-letter word is one of the hardest in the English language to spit out.

It’s also one of the easiest to forget, even when you think you’ve finally learned how to enunciate that one-syllable challenge. I still find myself saying yes all too often, and winding up drowning in my own promises. But I’m getting there, slowly but surely. Learning to turn down the review requests, and the critiques, and a thousand other things that I’d really love to do for everyone who asks. But I’ve finally come to the conclusion that, at some point, saying ‘yes’ might actually be a sin. OK, so I’m exaggerating—a little. But if we make promises we can find no earthly way to keep without having a nervous breakdown…or at the very least, missing a deadline of our own because we promised someone something...isn’t that just wrong?

Yes. It is, because it’s evidence of self-reliance. We’re not meant to rely on ourselves, but on God. When we forget that our strength lies in Him and start trying to do everything on our own, in our own strength, and beyond what God has called us to do…we’ve stepped into deep, dangerous, drowning depths.

(c) Can Stock Photo

I recently read an article by Elizabeth Ruth Skoglund. One simple statement caught my attention and held it: “As Christians we are called to balance, not imbalance, even in the area of our work for God—perhaps especially in our work for Him. God deserves not only enthusiasm and driving effort, but also the quality of a job done with care and balance.”

God’s Word encourages balance in every area of our lives. Yes, He wants us to help others, to encourage them, to give of ourselves in support of our sisters and brothers. But He does not want us to over-extend ourselves to the point of becoming sick, burned out and discouraged. That’s not God’s will for anyone.

Scripture advocates temperance, moderation, wisdom and balance in all areas of life. Those things are within God’s plan. Overextension and burnout are the results of behaviors in exact opposition of those mentioned.

Former First Lady Nancy Reagan had it right all along. “Just say no.” Of course, we all know she was talking about drugs, but many of our well-intentioned behaviors are every bit as damaging.

‘Yes’ is a lovely word, and I encourage its use whenever possible. We should help one another—that’s God’s way. We need each other. But if we’re broken, burned out, discouraged and over-extended, we’re no real help to anyone…and least of all, to ourselves.

When all is said and done, it comes down to doing what we already know is best. Schedule time wisely. Prioritize. Take care of ourselves so we can help others whenever possible.

And say no when it isn’t.

Delia Latham
(c) July 2014